I’ve just had a lighting strike moment! I didn’t realise how far I had come until this little conversation with my husband.
We were relaxing after tea and he asked, “what’s the weather like tomorrow?”. My immediate response was “I don’t know, I’ve not looked, I’ve just been enjoying today”.
That is the huge lesson I have learnt this last year. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but right now, well, life is good, the sun is going down, I’m warm, I’m loved, I feel ok and I’m happy.
One of the blessings a cancer diagnosis has given me is the freedom to live in the moment. I didn’t realise how much I had taken this on board until this conversation. None of us have tomorrow guaranteed – I’m not being morbid, it’s just a fact. We think that we have, but by constantly looking for tomorrow we miss today.
Since I have been ill and have faced a very uncertain future it has forced me to focus on the here and now, really LIVE in the moment and not miss it by worrying about tomorrow. I notice the little things each day and relish the individual interactions I have with people. I truly want to end each day feeling that it was the best day I could have. And if it wasn’t? If I am blessed enough to have another day, start again, make tomorrow the best it can be.
Sometimes I have bad days – and trust me I’ve had some REALLY bad days this past year, but I have learnt that they pass. That is the gift of living in the day and in the moment. You can experience the wonder and the joy and the great things that happen but you also know that if it is bad, it will change and tomorrow is another day, it is yours to start afresh and see through new eyes. I don’t have rose tinted glasses, I have an incurable disease and I know that my future is uncertain, I can choose to look at all the things I can’t do, or I can choose to look at what I can do.
We can all choose type of lens we look through and on a beautiful spring day, the sun is warm and I’m feeling ok – isn’t that just the best thing in life.